


Quand Quatre Mains deviennent Deux Mains

by meilinnobaka



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: I WILL FIC THINGS DONT EVEN PLAY, M/M, aka this is why you dont talk about possible fic ideas in my prescence, also my french is shitty oops, my friend's "what if" idea on twitter, this fic was brought to you by
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-26
Updated: 2014-04-26
Packaged: 2018-01-20 20:40:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1524848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meilinnobaka/pseuds/meilinnobaka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>when four turns to two and the duet becomes a solo...then is the time to long for the past and weep for the loss of an angels voice</p>
            </blockquote>





	Quand Quatre Mains deviennent Deux Mains

Shinji loved music. It was all too apparent by the headphones he constantly wore and by his obvious habit;that when he was upset or feeling down,he would simply lie down and listen to music, letting the waves of song and verse wash over him, clearing his mind from any negativity.

What was a little-know fact, however was that Shinji did more than just listen to music. No, from time to time he would create it via an elegant piano. When he played, it was simple yet soothing, and it took his mind off things far better than when he was merely listening to it. 

That was a long time ago, however. Ever since the demise of Kaworu Nagisa, the Fifth Child as well as the Seventeenth Angel, Shinji had not only stopped playing, but was seen without his signature headphones less and less. When asked about it, he’d merely shrug and mutter something about how “he didn’t need it anymore.” Clearly, that was a lie, but no one wanted to press him about it. Even those who did never got a complete answer, as Shinji would just keep repeating the same vague answers, looking away from them all the while. After some time, everyone decided to let him be, and leave him be.

However, it seems the gods of fate had not given up on him.

Walking to his room from yet another dull,stressful day of both school and NERV training exercises,his mind was wandering aimlessly. He passed by the changing rooms when faintly, he heard a familiar voice.

_"Oh,were you waiting for me, Shinji-kun?"_

“No. It can’t be…"

He ran back to the changing rooms, and looked inside, but it was empty. Still, he couldn’t shake the feeling that _his_ presence had been here and was trying to call to him. Shaken, he decided to put it from his mind and was about to let his mind resume wandering when he heard the voice- _his_ voice, _Kaworu’s_ voice- coming from down the hall.

_"Tell me Shinji-kun..what’s it feel like to love?"_

As he ran towards the source of the voice, he realized that it was coming from the direction of his room-formerly Kaworu’s room but after the…incident, he had taken it as his own. His mind was racing, full of confusion and curiosity. As he reached the door of him room, and flung it open, the voice said one last thing before it too faded away as if it had never existed.

_"I think I was truly born to meet you, Shinji-kun."_

The room, as it had been the past few months, was empty. But for a moment, it sounded as if Kaworu was in there, talking about his fascination with ‘Lillin’ things as usual. Shinji’s heart, which had been racing from the sprint there, was suddenly overcome by the painful reminder that Kaworu Nagisa was, in fact, dead.

"Okay, Shinji. You’ve just had a long day. You’re imagining things, and you’re kind of acting crazy. Again. I just need to rest and try not to think about it."

Muttering empty plans to himself, he shook his head as if trying to rid his mind of what had occurred, he threw himself onto the bed-

Only to feel the crunch of paper on his back.

"What the hell did I just lay on? What the hell? What is this,some NERV documen…"

His voice trailed off as he recognized the papers. They weren’t NERV documents at all, but sheet music for a certain duet. Kaworu had given them to him so he could use them to practice his side of the duet and-

"Why are...these on my bed? I thought I threw them away! What’s going on?!"

Almost in reply to his questions, the voice of the angel came again, this time from down the hall.

_"This song was intended to be a duet. I’ll teach you how to play, if you play this duet with me someday."_

'This can't be a coincidence' he thought. 'Hearing his voice, getting these papers…Alright fine,whatever...I'll play along. Not like it'll change anything.'

He picked up the music and headed almost automatically towards the music room.

Where the sleek piano was opened and waiting for him. He sat on the bench, and noticed that the bench had been adjusted to suit him perfectly. Last time he’d felt the need to be here, the bench had been adjusted to its default position, which meant he couldn’t reach the pedals. But that it had been set back to fit him was just another thing on the list of questionable but related coincidences that day. 

He set the music on the stand, placed his fingers on the keys, then stopped. He couldn’t bring himself to do it. It wasn’t that he was incapable to, but that he mentally didn’t want to. In his mind, this was a duet-it was called “Four Hands” in French, for god’s sake-and to play it without his partner didn’t seem right. 

The sound of keys being pressed snapped him out of his state of misery and shot straight into one of confusion. 

"I didn’t…what the hell? That couldn’t have been me that was the start of Kawo-"

He stopped, the full understanding of what had just happened hitting him.

The mysterious playing that had snapped him out of his doubt had been the start of Quatre Mains…but it wasn’t Shinji’s part of the duet.

It had been Kaworu’s. As if he was trying to jumpstart the performance.

Almost on cue,the whisper of _“Well then let me see how much you’ve learned. Let’s play this duet together, shall we?”_ in his ear was that of Kaworu; gentle but encouraging.

Filled with a new hope based on the confirmation that Kaworu was, in fact here, Shinji placed his hands on the black and white keys once more, and the performance began.

And for just a moment, it seemed as if there were four hands playing. Had anyone peeked in at that moment, they would have sworn to see the winged figure of a silver-haired boy playing along with Shinji, with a gentle smile on his face, and eyes that were filled with love only for his partner.

The two melodies flowed and merged as one, their melody filling the space with joy and happiness as well as the memories of happier, more peaceful times.

As the duet came to a close, Shinji closed his eyes, enveloping himself in music for the first time in a long time, truly appreciating it, and it reminded him that music truly was his escape from the war-torn world that he had been forced into. For the first time since Kaworu’s death, he smiled a joyful, happy smile.

Unfortunately, all things must come to an end, and this “duet” was no exception. As the last notes reverberated across the room, Shinji opened his eyes, saying ”That really cheered me up, Kaworu. Thanks for-”

The room was empty and silent. Shinji sat alone on a bench that was too tall for him, with an empty music stand in front of him. The piano was closed and looked like it hadn’t been opened, much less touched in a long while.

He laughed weakly. “Of course. What the hell was I getting so worked up about? He’s dead…He’s been dead for months. The voice, the sheets…I’ve been hallucinating, I knew that. He can’t just come back to life, even if he is an Angel…Why did I tell myself otherwise…?”

His laughter turned to tears, and he bent over the piano, weeping at what could have been and what has been, what was gained and what was stolen. 

He wept.

**Author's Note:**

> I am a terrible human being who looks at people's "what if ____" posts and makes them a reality.
> 
> The title is French for "When Four Hands become Two Hands". Originally, the title was going to be "When a Duet becomes a Solo" but I really wanted to incorporate the Quatre Mains theme in there, so I pulled out my (rusty) three years of french and did that (if there's errors in the french please tell me so i can correct it!)
> 
> but let's be real the lesson here is never to let me near any au ideas ever


End file.
